i can't even handle these pictures. this child. i'm so smitten. he turned ONE today! what?! i have a one year old! people always say "i can't believe he is one already!" and i'm equally as surprised but also not at all. i feel like i've had him in my life for so much longer than that. it's hard for me to picture my life without him. he is my everything. this baby has rocked my world. from day one i have had this deep love for him. the kind of love that i have cried just cause i love him so much. danny tries not to laugh. motherhood is such a special thing. i'm surprised how protective i am over him. i hate seeing him in pain. i just want him to be happy, and find joy in each day. i want him to grow and learn and be successful. but at the same time i am so scared for the day he moves out and doesn't need me everyday. the crazy things moms think about. but seriously.
as i rocked him to sleep tonight, i started thinking back on this past year. becoming a mom has been the most amazing thing. the first time i held him in the hospital was so beautiful. i've heard this quote by Elizabeth Stone but never really understood it until now.
“Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body."
it is so true. this human has me wrapped around his chubby little finger. so many memories have come flooding back to me. the sleepy cuddles as a newborn. the middle of the night feedings. the milk stained face. our shopping trips. that smile that lights up the whole room. the speedy army crawl that you nailed. when dad comes home and you point to show him everything in the house. i could probably write a novel with all my favorite things about you, but my wrist is starting to hurt so i'll stop.
Happy birthday sweet boy. I love you more than you will ever know.